Trish Heinrich

Mother, Author, Hero

Tag: hero

The Good, The Bad and The Beautiful: Wonder Woman (Part Two)

Part Two of my three part series on the Wonder Woman movie. Now we get to talk about:

The Beautiful

After seventy-six years, and a lot of wishing and hoping, we finally get Wonder Woman on the big screen. And what’s awesome is that we truly did get a Wonder Woman film because the people making this movie understood, at some deep levels, the hero whose story they were telling.

Like a lot of women, this movie was emotional for me. I cry just thinking of certain scenes.  The fight in No Man’s Land, or the charge of the Amazons on the beach. Not to mention the end. Why did a superhero film make me cry while watching it? And why am I not alone in that? It’s a good question, a hard one to answer because it’s different and yet the same for each of us.   I agree with many of the women who are already writing about this that there is an emotional release because at last, we see that these stories aren’t just for male heroes, they are for any and all of us.

The feminine is heroic.

To me, this is the power of this film.  Seeing my daughter pump her fist in the air and want to be just like General Antiope (Robin Wright). To see my son clap his hands with glee when Wonder Woman battles heroically.  I could use every adjective I know and still, I would not come close to how I feel when I think of this film.

God! I’ve waited so long to see a female hero like this. Strong, beautiful, compassionate, loving, kind. Wholly a woman and wholly a hero. The two coexist in Wonder Woman as naturally as breathing, and no one doubts that it should be that way.

We have seen so many sister heroes who have had to justify their strength and showcase their feminity in ways that weaken them as characters, heroes, and people. We have seen them reduced to sidekicks, to have to be one thing for all women. And even though Diana is one woman, we get to see her Amazonian sisters alongside her for the first twenty minutes or so of the movie. They are of all shapes and sizes, all skin hues. They are young. They are older. They are all completely female and completely heroic.

I didn’t realize it at first, but most of the Amazons are portrayed by athletes, the real-life superheroes of our world. And watching it a second time in one weekend I could see the strength, grace, courage, and grit that made them heroes in the real world.  They were, individually and as a whole, one of the most beautiful things I’d ever seen on film.

For Wonder Woman, Love is the most Powerful

Wonder Woman is arguably one of the most powerful heroes in all of DC, and she uses her powers with compassion and love. Really, that’s the theme of the movie: Power used with Love.  It’s profound, especially in our worldwide political climate. She sees the suffering of mankind, and is told again and again by the men around her “You can’t do anything, this isn’t our mission.” And, finally fed up with it, does what her heart and soul tell her to. In the process, she inspires an army of men and saves a village of innocent people.   She is clear-eyed and sure in her purpose, no matter the naivete that she carries with her. When faced with the shattering of deeply held beliefs and heartbreak she doesn’t respond with anger or vengeance, she chooses to love.

 

Was the film perfect? No, but it was damn close.

 

Creative Nemesis: Fear of Failure

Every time I thought about launching this website I would feel the cold dread of fear in my gut.

Yep,  I was absolutely terrified of pushing that one little button and letting the whole world see my author website.

Why?

Because I was afraid people would think it was lame. Or that it showed just how little I knew about being an author. Or that no one would read it.

Basically, I was battling an age old nemesis: Fear. Specifically the fear of  falling flat on my face and failing.

In the days leading up to launching this site, I felt my heart speed up any time I thought about launch day. I’d laugh nervously, and then do a little hop and twirl to get the nervous energy out.  I knew that once I launched this website, that it was one more step that got me closer to doing this other, really big, really scary, really amazing thing that I’d dreamed of since I was a kid:

Publishing my first book.

Sometimes, success can make us feel far more fear than not trying at all.

I’m not sure why it’s more panic inducing than failure, but I do know that there have been so many times I’ve felt this. And every time, I take some deep breaths and tell myself to calm down. I look at what I’ve done, I look at where I was and then I square my shoulders and make a promise to myself that no matter how hard it is, I will do everything I can to keep this success going.

To be honest, I’ve had a lot of what people would call failures. The web series I produced with my husband and our best friend, for instance. Critically and among the Seattle film community it was a success. People loved it! But we could never figure out how to monetize it, and it never went anywhere. Some would say we failed. And for a while I would cry every time I thought of that series because I loved it so much and it hadn’t gotten any traction.

But then, one day, I realized that I was looking at it all wrong. We had dared to do something most people just sit around and BS about. We had made something funny, and intelligent and original that resonated with people. No, we never got very far out of the starting gate, in spite of all our hard work. But if you look at writers and producers who are “over night successes” you find out that they had to write and produce a lot of “failures” and build off that before their break out hit.

I look at that series now, and I see a success because we were brave enough to do it, and do it well.  It’s one of the things I’m most proud about in my creative life; so far anyway.

Which brings me back to this website.

It’s probably not perfect. I will likely retool, and change things over the next year as I learn more about being an Indie Author. And that’s how it’s supposed to be. If I waited for things to be perfect, I’d never do anything, and neither would you. We can’t wait for perfect to start our creative lives.

Perfect doesn’t show up, ever. It’s like Waiting For Guffman. It just doesn’t happen. And, just like Waiting For Guffman, we will do a lot of stupid, embarrassing, unnecessary things if we insist on waiting for perfect.

Instead, we must strive and learn and make every creative offering better than the last one. Maybe that’s part of the fear, because it’s never ending, really hard work. We put our heart out there and let people trample and take a dump on it. For those of us that feel called to a life of Creativity, we don’t just do this once. No, we do it dozens; if we’re lucky, hundreds of times.  And every time we are afraid that this will be the moment everyone sees what a fraud we are.

Right now, I feel that. That Inner Critic is pouring on the Impostor Syndrome with relish. And I’m shaking, terrified.

But also determined.

He hasn’t beaten me before, and I’m not about to hand the bastard a victory now.

So go ahead Inner Critic, go for it. I may cry and curl up for a minute, but then I’m going to brush it all off, put up my fists and knock you on your butt.

Do you have something you’re afraid of doing? Have you already done it? Are you on the threshold of doing it?

I’d love to hear all about it, to share this crazy journey with you. Feel free to leave a comment below, on my Facebook page, or sign up to my monthly email newsletter where you’ll get exclusive content and a round up of my blog posts for the month.

Here’s to lots of wonderful successful failures!

Ode to a Hero: Carrie Fisher

Carrie Fisher

 

How do I wrap my head around the passing of a woman who meant so much to me?  A woman I never met outside of her movies, books and interviews? It feels like losing that Aunt you look forward to seeing every year at Christmas. The one who speaks truth no matter who it offends, who believes in you no matter what crazy dreams you want to pursue. The one who has had the kind of life people only live in books.

Growing up I had two women I could look up to in my vast consumption of media. Two women who had agency and courage. Two women who were Heroes.

Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher)

Carrie Fisher-Princess Leia

Wonder Woman (Lynda Carter)

Lynda Carter-Wonder Woman

I’d memorized every line of the original Star Wars trilogy. To this day I can tell you where the laser disc stopped and you had to switch it out for the next one. It was always assumed that my youngest brother was the Star Wars fanatic. But no one seemed to notice how little I protested when he wanted to watch one of them for the thousandth time.

Princess Leia was beautiful, brave, and smart. She didn’t take any shit from anyone, even Darth Vader! She stood up to the Empire all alone on the Death Star even though it cost her planet, she shot a blaster, and she killed a Hut.

Carrie Fisher was a lot like Princess Leia, but she was also more. She was funny, man was she ever! Her self deprecating humor was brilliant, and when she wasn’t lampooning herself, her barbed wit was dead on. She was a little filthy, and she didn’t care who it offended. She had demons who drove her into the ground, but she got back up again and again. She was intelligent and driven.

Her critics threw it all in her face. Her mental health problems, her drug and alcohol abuse, and the way age changed her body.  I’m sure it hurt, I’m sure that there were many times she was deeply wounded by the things people said.

But Ms. Fisher didn’t let that stop her. No way! Like the role she’d immortalized, Carrie Fisher kept going. She found a way and in the end came out stronger, more brilliant and admired than any of her detractors. In other words: She spun the shit they flung at her into solid gold.

Her honesty about her flaws, and her struggles with mental health and drug and alcohol abuse was incredibly brave. She spoke about these things at a time when no one dared; especially a celebrity.  Her honesty helped take the shame off of these issues so that we could all see the beauty of broken humanity.

One of the things I loved so much, was how she embraced the changes hard living and age had brought to her body. She turned the criticism of her appearance around onto those who spoke against her, skillfully illuminating the bullshit of ageism.

I first fell in love with Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia, but since I’ve grown to admire her as herself; warts and all. Because she showed me something to strive for: the courage and beauty of accepting yourself.

She left us way too soon, but at least while she lived, she lived as herself not who others wanted her to be. And that is something to celebrate. Something to emulate.

I don’t know this for sure, but I would imagine there were many times she was tempted to lay down and stop. Who would’ve blamed her?

She didn’t seem capable of doing that, though. Carrie Fisher always got back up, she always seemed to go for it, even if the effort wasn’t graceful or couth.  I admire that too.

And so, this year, 2017, I am trying to tackle some things that scare and exhilarate me. And I may be tempted to give up. But when I am, when I may want to give in to fear, or pain or any number of things, I think what I’ll do instead is take a deep breath, give those obstacles the middle finger and blast them to hell.

Because I think that’s what Carrie Fisher would do.

What does this awesome woman mean to you? Did you ever meet her? Leave a comment below to continue the conversation. Or find me via my Facebook page. I’d love to hear from you!

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